The Gaean Book Of World Records
by Shakaku
Summary: Just what the title says...I twisted this one up...not much but in my opinion.....yeah....and tomorrow's Love Day!! I love Love Day! Anyways...in here there's Allen (Poor guy! I love him, but he is so easy to make fun of!) Folken, Chesta, Chibi Dilly, and


The Gaean Book Of World Records! Pt...1? Possibly  
  
  
A/N: I'm bored, so this is why this was written.... I still gotta type up the 2nd part of "Escaflowne's Future" The "Say No To Series" and I gotta write the third part to that haunted house thingy....but since school has been a major pain in the arse, this is the only thing that could been....ummmmm....typed at the moment....so...yeah.   
Disclaimer: I own nothin' cept the plot..errr...title thingy...so....yeah.  
  
This thing has the character's name then their "accomplishment (?)" no pictures....but that'd be cool if there was...just try to imagine it in your head dudes! ^_^  
  
  
  
The Longest Hair (for a man)  
Allen Schezar holds this title,  
he's been growing his hair  
for 21 years................  
but, at the moment he's 40  
so it's been 41 years!  
his hair grows one foot a year  
so you can guess how long it   
must be! How does he keep it  
up you ask? Well we went behind   
the scenes of "Allen's Hair"  
this is what he had to say:  
"Every day, in the morning I have close   
friends of mine to brush out my hair  
*chuckles* you don't just want anyone  
brushing your hair! Then I have those same  
friends help me put on my hairspray. I used to   
have the three inch lift, but with this hair, why not   
move it up to six? I go through at least 100 cans  
of that stuff! However, there are downsides to being   
blessed with this lovely hair, sometimes small animals  
such as squirrels and raccoons may get caught in and   
tangled in my gold shimmery strands, but my friends  
are always there to get them out! Even when sparrows or  
crows decide to build a nest."  
That was quoted directly from the man! He also holds  
The world record for the most cans of hairspray a month  
Which is, 2800.5. ( A/N: Thought this was harsh? I don't think it was! Allen is so easy to do stuff like this too! Why stop when you have the chance? And once again I'm not an Allen hater, just to let everyone know ^_^)  
  
  
The Largest Collection Of put-on-yourself-tear-drop-tattoos (Now who could this be?)  
Folken Strategos/Fanel holds this title!  
He's collected tear-drop tattoos since he  
was a wee little kid! At one point he was sent  
to a psychologist for his obsession of the little  
purple things on paper. The following is a quote  
from the man himself;   
"I like my tattoos, I wear one all the time. It's  
very simple to apply to your face, all you do is  
dampen your face some and stick the paper to it,   
wait a few minutes then take it off. My collection   
would have been larger but someone I know somehow  
found my secret stash and burned them all...I had to start  
from scratch......so if you go near my tattoos I will kill  
you. Never approach me about purple tattoos, for I will   
pretend I don't know what you are talking about and   
possibly hurt you. These tattoos are mine, touch and die!"  
that rather disturbing quote was from Folken himself, after the short   
interview for The Gaean Book Of World Records, The interviewer  
never came back....we only found a piece of paper with Folken Strategos'  
quote on it....we will never know what happened to him, and we give  
our condolences to his family.  
  
  
The Most Abused Guy (poor, poor, guy)  
Chesta Whatever-his-last-name-is is the   
poor soul who's the owner of this title,  
through his ordeals and hardships in the  
Dragonslayers he was always getting slapped  
by his commanding officer and pushed around by   
his peers. And the man with the hair (a.k.a Allen Schezar)  
always had him as his target for pain and hurtful intentions.  
The following is Chesta's quote;   
"I don't know why I'm always the target! Why is that!?  
do I have a sign on me that says, "Slap Me!" Or , "Hurt me, I   
haven't been abused enough!" Why!!!!! It makes me ANGRY! YOU   
DON'T WANT TO MAKE ME ANGRY! DON'T STARE AT ME   
LIKE THAT!!! GRRRRR!! THAT'S IT!!!-----------------------''  
the interview was cut off right there....it seemed Chesta got the impression  
that the interviewer was abusing him in some way......another interviewer we  
lost....it's very sad actually....  
  
  
The Cutest Thing In The World (How cute!)  
Awwwww......the chibi who  
holds this title is Chibi Dilandau!!!  
his level of cuteness is too much  
for any normal fan. The following is  
from the cute little lips of Chibi Dilandau  
himself!   
"Everyone says I'm cute! But I dun wanna  
be cute! Wanna know what I wanna be!? I wanna  
be destructive and be a first class pyro! I AM NOT  
A CUTE LITTLE CUDDLY CHIBI! If you try  
to hug me I'll set you on fire! I like fire it's so pretty,  
I like the red color of the flames and the orange color  
and the yellow color too! And I like how it burns  
things! *gets a little match and lights it* Things like you,  
you stupid man that's keep talking to me and wasting  
my precious time!! NOW BUUUURRRNNNN!!!"  
luckily the interview wasn't burned....but the interviewer was...  
yet another loss for us.....when will the hate and pain for  
interviewers stop? It is too degrading.  
  
  
  
The Curliest Beard Of All Time! (Blahh I dun like him!)  
Emperor Dornkirk of the Zaibach Empire  
Holds this title! Lately his beard has become  
More curlier and fluffier, almost making it  
Look like his chin blew up and a river of   
White.......curly.....Ahem, here is the quote  
From the old fart himself!!  
" Go away"  
And that's all he had to say! The interviewer ran as fast  
As he could and survived this frightening ordeal with  
The old man ::shudders:: He is just plain scary!  
  
  
The Freakiest Thing (s) In The World!!! (Freaky, that's all I gotta say!)  
The ones who hold this title, the title not to be proud  
of is Moleman and Zongi!!!! What ARE they you ask? Well here is their explanation for their reason of ugly!  
Moleman; " What am I you ask???? *insert evil, UGLY laughter*  
I AM your nightmare!!! I am the ugly thing you see outta the corner  
of your eye and when you turn to find the ugly I AM ALREADY  
GONE!!! *Insert more evil,UGLY laughter* I AM the ugly you feel on your  
bad hair days or other days that are bad!!!!!! I AM MOLEMAN!!!! *Insert  
more evil, UGLY laughter*   
::Shudders:: plain ugly, just plain ugly....  
Zongi; "I don't know what I AM!!! Why is everyone asking me that!!?  
WHY!!!! I DO know that I AM the biggest freak in the world!  
I'm uglier than Moleman too!!! If you looked at him and thought  
he was ugly then look at me you will all go cryin to your MAMA'S!"  
After this interview Moleman popped up and the two began fighting,  
trying to win the title of UGLY.......The interviewer got away safely   
however, is forever traumatized from all the ugly that occurred that day.  
  
  
A/N: *Shrugs* That's it for that one......for now......My brain is forever dead..... I also wanna add after the fight Chibi Dilandau came and burned the two ugly.....so now that position's open......who will hold the title of ugly/freakiest thing in the world NOW??? I don't know either.......But it is someone who is ugly!! Hmmmmm....It's been awhile since I posted a story, oh well, life sorta gets in the way sometimes....I'm sure you other authors know what I be talkin' bout'. Plus I've been in a non-writing mood and have been forced to do history and write all these evil essays about stuff I'm learning....it is so evil....oh well....at least I got a good grade in psychology HAH!! I bet you never thought a person like me would even take a class like that!!! BIG HAH!! I also wanna add if you wanna know what I (the demented authoress) looks like I put my picture on my profile!!! BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Now you know.....blah blahahahahahahahahahahahhaha!!! Take a look at my ugly mug and review please!!! I love reviews!! You can even e-mail if you want!!!!!! I LOVE E-MAIL! And tomorrow's love day!! (Valentine's Day) HAPPY LOVE DAY EVERYBODY!! ^___________________________________^  



End file.
